Benefits of Family Dinner

Okay, I always pictured growing up and having a family, one that would gather around the dinner table and talk about their day, where everyone would be happy and would be pretty much like they are in the movies. Of course, for a foster child, this would be a desire. For someone that grew up without a stable family, this has always been a big wish of mine. I can remember, in my first foster home, even with 14+ people, we found a way for everyone to gather in the same room, even if it was on two or more tables.

Unfortunately, my own small family does not practice the "family dinner." We gather in the living room in front of the TV. We eat together, but there is no eye contact, no conversation, only a boob tube. A lot of this is due to the fact that my husband prefers sitting in front of the TV for meals; some of it is due to the fact that my youngest just will not eat right at the table and if she gets started talking she will never finish eating; and with my lack of patience it has become just more stress than it is worth to eat at the table. I still dream of close family dinners, especially now that my oldest is in those tween years and a strong family connection and influence is all that more important for her.

I decided to look into this...What are the benefits of eating as a family?

With after-school activities, late workdays, and long commutes -- it's no wonder few families find the time to eat dinner together, but it proves to be a simple and effective way to reduce the risk of youth substance abuse and to raise healthier children. Sitting down together at the dinner table without TV, phones calls or other distractions is the perfect opportunity to discuss what's going on in your lives. Eating dinner together every night keeps the doors of communication open; it’s the perfect time and place to reconnect and to show your kids that they are a priority. You can learn more about your children's day across the dinner table and having this information can help you direct your children toward positive activities and behavior.

Research shows that when families eat together, they tend to eat more vegetables and fruits and fewer fried foods and soda. When younger kids frequently eat dinner with their families, they are less likely to be overweight than other children. That tends to change in the teenage years, when they're less likely to eat at home.

Compared to teens that have frequent family dinners, those who rarely have family dinners are three-and-a-half times more likely to have abused prescription drugs or an illegal drug other than marijuana.

Other than the health benefits and the reduced risk of substance abuse, family dinners were the most important family event contributing to children's language development. When there is more than one adult at the table, the discussions are much richer and provides valuable opportunities for children to listen and learn. They have to opportunity to hear rich conversation and naturally they will tend to duplicate this into their own lives.

Believe it or not, there are risks to eating together as a family. In order to be successful, family dinners must be enjoyable for everyone. If everyone is tense, irritable or unhappy, there won't be a lot of conversation, bonding or other benefits.

Dinnertime is not the time to talk about bad things, the children doing badly in school, cleaning their rooms or curfews. Instead focus on open-ended questions about things your kids are interested in or things that will get them talking.

Also, allow kids to serve themselves and just take a little bit, if that is what they want. Forcing a child to eat everything on his plate will teach him/her to ignore their body's cues that (s)he's full.

According to a new study, family dinner appears to be good for parents, too. The parents who said their jobs interfered less with being home for dinner tended to feel greater personal success, success in relationships with their spouses and with their children. Parents felt better about themselves and their relationships if they made it home for dinner more regularly, even if they still worked long hours. Parents who missed dinner at home because of work, on the other hand, felt gloomy about their professional futures.

This is something that I never thought about...family dinners are important for all dynamics of the family. Parent's relationships with their children, and vice-versa, as well as the parents' relationships with each other, and the way that parents feel about themselves. I never would have thought about this last one...

Again, my family does not practice family dinnertime, but maybe that's not such a bad thing...As my research points out, it has to be a pleasant experience for everyone and it often just got too stressful. Between one child who would rather talk than eat and even when you get her to eat, she won't eat with any type of manners; and the other child who constantly got fussed at for misbehaving in school it just became to stressful. Then add to the mix a very stressed and depressed Mommy and it just wasn't worth it. I worry about my children as they grow, however, and I honestly don't know if it would be worth it try and bring back family dinners or not...