Saturday, May 19, 2012

Control Freak

Isn’t it fun to follow the journey of someone who is working on so much? I really live up to the title "Working Mom, Issues and All."

Back to my journey out of insecurity...Beth Moore states:
"People who are chronically insecure often have an overwhelming tendency to become control freaks."
This, more than any other statement that I can think of in her book, convicts me. I feel the most secure when everything is under control and since no one is able to control circumstances to my satisfaction, I must do it myself.

No one else could possibly control our finances, so I do the budget.

No one else could possibly...

Have you ever wondered why you try to control the things/people that you do? According to Beth, an insecure person’s greatest need for control is directed toward those who have the most potential to either threaten her security or strengthen it.

Wow! So, this is why most women choose to try to control their significant other, and their kids. The more insecure a mother is, the more she tries to control her children. Don’t get me wrong and please don’t think that everything you say to your child is an attempt to control them. There is a difference between control and discipline. Discipline is guiding your children and teaching them the foundation on which their future decisions will be made. Controlling your child is trying to make the child.

I know I have tried it... I have a wonderful daughter (both of them), but my oldest in particular...she is compassionate, great with animals, and very smart. However, I have tried and tried to make her. She is not a girly girl. She likes the occasional dress, but she is not into cleaning her face daily and even maintaining clean fingernails. There are times when I really want a girly girl and I try to push things like accessories and bows at her. Honestly, that just is not her. She is an outdoorsy kid who would rather be playing by herself (or with the dogs) in the backyard, than maintaining her complexion.

My youngest is SOOOO strong willed. She is the product of divorced parents and she knows what she can get away with at her mother’s house. She almost constantly tries to get away with the same things at home, but I am so not having it and often don’t have the patience that maybe I need to. After a visit with her mom, several hours under my "control" is often just what is needed to get her back in line and acting like a 6 year old, rather than a toddler. (Now, I am not saying I am perfect with the younger one, but I am trying to give an example of the difference between control and discipline.)

For the hubby, there is a lot that I try to control and the bad thing is....I don't even realize it. But, I am sure that he can point out a lot of ways that I am and OCD Control Freak.

The good news, as time has gone on, I have learned to let go of some things. For instance, my house isn't always spotless (thank you kids), my hubby does most of the cooking and does it well, and the dishes often wait for him until the next day. As my oldest has grown, I have started allowing her a little more wiggle room on chores, etc. 

I just wish there was a way for me to start uncovering other things that I can start letting go of. Oh wait, there's called prayer.

No comments:

Post a Comment