Challenges of a Step Mom

When I started on my marital journey almost a year ago, now, I would never have thought to face so many challenges. To be sure, both my husband and I have our own pasts with the children to bring into our new union, but I had visions of an easy blending of our families.


“Blended families” is a relatively new term in history, but it has become part of every-day language. In a sense, the blended family has become synonymous with a ”dysfunctional family” in our culture. But I never would have guessed that whenever two separate families come together, there are inevitable going to be conflicts.


I thought that as long as the children see a united front then all would be well. I never would have guessed that a year later, that "united front" could still be under construction. I never would have guessed how the strain of combining two separate families could effect our marital relationship. I knew going in that we needed to plan "date night," for just the two of us, but who knew how impossible that would be.


And yet, even with the strain on our marital relationship, I had hoped to be a positive influence and loving mother to my step-daughter. And yet, so often I feel guilty. I feel guilty for often feeling stepped on and shoved in the back seat. Taking on the role of step mom is probably the most difficult role I have ever tried to step into. Success requires a great deal of patience, understanding, and a tremendous amount of support from your spouse. And yet, at times, it seems an insurmountable task.

As step mom it is my home too and I should receive the respect children give all adults in their lives. But what can you do to keep them from walking all over you?

One lesson that I am learning is that I cannot force others to cooperate or care; I can only do my part. And yet, it seems sometimes that even just my part is too much to handle.