The Evil Step Mother

Why is it that, even though I really am not one, I constantly feel like the evil stepmother? I feel like I should be looked at like all of those evil wicked stepmothers in Disney movies and other stories throughout the world.

I don't truly know when these feelings started. I guess they started at about the same time that I truly came to love my stepdaughter almost as if she was my own. The day that I started feeling responsible for guiding her through this world, for how she turns out in the end. I am a tough mom, I will be the first to tell you. I was the first to tell my oldest who has heard the saying "I am here to be your mom, not your friend," over and over and over through the years.

Over the past year and a half, my life has not been easy. I have endured losing my job, moving from my home, suffering a bulging disc and enduring the surgery that accompanied it. I have also learned that my oldest has ADHD, tried figuring out how to deal in a blended family, and tried dealing with my own issues, including Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and some serious religious doubts and/or issues.

Add, on top of all of those stresses, the fact that my step-daughter is starting Kindergarten and also getting ready to start overnight visitations with her mom and I don't think I can bear it. To me, it seems like every day is a battle. There is something every day. It is not completely my stepdaughter's fault. She is going through some major changes, our whole family is. It is just so completely frustrating! I try to keep things normal, I try to instill discipline into our family and responsibility into my children. Yet instead of any positive response, I get a never ending list of new problems...of behaviors that are known to be wrong, but still trying to get away with it. And it isn't even in any slick sort of way...to me it seems to be an "in-your-face" I am going to do this because I completely disrespect you and do not wish to make your life easy in any way, shape, or form.

How do respond to this? I know that I am the adult and it is up to me to take the higher road and yet I can't help but get upset and frustrated. What do I do? It seems that every day I have to fuss constantly and by the end of the day I am exhausted. Add onto that the fact that I am just "step-mom" and I can almost envision me looking in the mirror and seeing Cinderella's stepmother peering back at me. I can almost picture my hand being the one to pat that hated key in my pocket.