Is Santa Real?

Okay, so this evening my tween started asking “Mommy, is Santa Claus real?” I guess those days are now behind us…I asked her what she thought and she used scripture to back up her response, or at least her understanding of scripture. She understood that if you believe in magic then you can’t believe in God. In actuality, the scripture says that magic does exist, but we are not to practice it.

Anyways, I was wondering when this day would come. This is the day that my oldest daughter started not believing in Santa Claus. Now, how to respond to it?

It's hard for parents to accept that their children are growing up. By the time a child becomes a tween, she probably no longer believes in Santa. The truth is, if your child is asking questions, she probably already knows the truth, she's just looking for validation from you.

If you think your child has it figured out, it's a good idea to be truthful with her. When she asks, you could explain that Saint Nicholas was a real person long ago. He was known for leaving presents for the children in his village, and for caring for the poor and unfortunate. The legend grew over time, becoming the story we all know.

Be sure that you include your family's beliefs and values in the conversation, reinforcing the fact that Santa exists in the hearts and souls of all people who are kind and generous.

It might also be time to review some of your family's Christmas traditions. Instead of writing a letter to Santa, your tween could become a Secret Santa for a younger sibling or neighborhood child. Or, she could bake cookies or bread for elderly neighbors. She could even become Santa's helper, one of the people who help Santa fill the stockings and arranges the presents under the tree on Christmas Eve while everyone else is sleeping.

So, when your tween asks, "Is Santa real?" you can answer, "Yes, he is. But not in the way you think. Here's what I mean..."

But remember, just because one of your children doesn't believe, that doesn't mean that the rest shouldn't. When you feel it's time to have the conversation, pull your child aside and be sure that you are out of earshot of any other young ones who may be around. Also impress upon your tween the importance of not mentioning this to younger believers. Put this in such a way that because they are becoming a young man or woman, they are going to have certain responsibilities in life. One responsibility is to let other little ones enjoy Christmas and Santa Claus in the way they did.