Monday, March 7, 2011

Two Truths and a Lie

Okay, somehow I am sure that this post is somehow related to my last one....Do you grumble? But confession is good for the soul, right? Well I had a "situation" at church yesterday. (Maybe it's more of a problem or grumble.)

The hubby and I got to teach the 3rd Grade Sunday School class at our church for the first time yesterday. My hubby, being the school teacher that he is, decided to start off with an ice breaker with the class. He decided on Two Truths and a Lie. Everyone tells two truths and a lie about themselves and everyone else has to guess what the lie was. (All issues about lieing in church aside, it was a pretty good game.)

The hubby started out the game. His three things: (1) I used to drive a race car. (2) I used to play hockey. (3) I got a novel published. Even his lie wasn't that far off the "cool" radar. He has been published in two poetry books, but never actually published a novel. Then, it became my turn to go....

Uhhhh....for most of you who know me, you know that I have had a hard life. Most of my life has been spent just surviving. So, when it came to my turn for two truths and a lie, I had to come up with really corny ones. After that, the wheels in my head got to turning (as if they ever really stop). Looking back at my life, I have done a lot that I am proud of like surviving sexual abuse, making it as a single mother, going to college and work full-time, etc. But, you know....there isn't much fun in there. Not to say that I haven't enjoyed some parts of my life, I have. I have loved and lost like everyone else. I am well on my way to raising my daughter. I have a lot to be thankful for. But, I haven't had a lot of fun experiences along the way.

The most traditional "excitement" that I have ever had in my life is going to an amusement park twice in my entire life! Wow! Looking back, what have I done with my life. I honestly cannot look back at my life and be okay with it ending this way. I have always wanted to go on a cruise. I want to go to Alaska some day. I want to go to the beach way more often. I want to take a real vacation (which I haven't taken since 2004 when my daughter and I went to the beach for a weekend). I want to take my kids camping. I want a lot more animals. There is a lot that I want out of live, a lot that I still want to experience. Writing this out, though, I am torn. Is it wrong of me to want these things? To want more, even though I am a blessed child of God? Some part of me is happy with what I have and just expects the rest to come with time, but how much of me really feels left out because I haven't squeezed every drop out of my lemons?

I am not really sure, and I may never know. Finances being what they are, I don't think I have the luxury of worrying about it now, but I can't wait forever. We never know how much life we have left....

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