Thursday, January 26, 2012

Fickle, Fickle, Fickle

We women are fickle creatures, are we not? I guess I actually have a reason to be feeling the way I do right now. Long story short, my oldest daughter has threatened/been contemplating suicide and now I wonder if I should really be venturing to have another child.

Wow, that was easier to admit than I thought it would be.

If my 10 year old is contemplating suicide, then what does that say about my parenting abilities?

Yes, I am definitely throwing myself a pity party today. I have cried off and on from 7:54 this morning on. I am hurting, but even more, I hurt for my child. How much must she be suffering for her to even have thoughts like that?

Yes, there are possible causes for her depression other than my parenting abilities. My daughter does suffer ADHD, which makes her socially awkward and unable to make friends. She also has family history of bi-polar disorder and a mother with PTSD and anxiety issues.

But, back to the subject. Should I really be seeking the responsibility and heartbreak that comes with another child? I don't know right now. I am so confused.

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