Insecurity and Relationships

The insecure person harbors unrealistic expectations about love and relationships. These expectations are often unconscious. The insecure person creates a situation in which being disappointed and hurt in relationships is almost inevitable. Although insecure people are easily hurt, they are usually unaware of how they are unwitting accomplices in creating their own misery.

-Beth Moore

Source

Being loved is a universal need, but for those who are insecure, it's is an obsession. We need someone else to justify us. We need to see our worth reflected from another person whether it's a friend, a parent, a partner, etc. We need someone else to tell us we are worth it.


We all deal with being lonely or rejected in various ways. Some people form relationships, then reject their partners as soon as they think they’ll be rejected themselves. Some people cling on and become really, really dependent. These are the minute-by-minute texters, the always-have-to-hold-your-hand-ers, etc.

Either way, the insecure person is so desperate for another's acceptance and so fearful of rejection or pain that they put way too much pressure on their relationships.

I posted recently on being the end-all be all of someone else. It's not an easy thing to be and most people crack under the pressure. For those that don't crack, there are those of us who as so afraid of rejection that we chase them away. Then, there are those of us who are a complicated mixture of the one who is desperate for acceptance and at the same time tries to push away at the first lack of reciprocation.

I really hope that Joyce can help!