Unfortunately, our journey to TTC is over.
After my last post, I finally broke down and spoke with the hubby, again. Unfortunately, I didn't choose the best time. Instead of being up front with him, I just sort of decided to avoid getting pregnant, which resulted in him pushing himself onto me.
Now, I am a childhood victim of sexual abuse and have been diagnosed with PTSD for more than half of my life. Now, those flashbacks have returned but, instead of it being the result of my childhood abuse, it is now my husband that I see and fear. The place that I used to feel the safest has now become my worst nightmare.
Needless to say, our journey to TTC is over. I can't bring myself to allow my husband to touch me, let alone try to bear another child. It would be unfair to the child to have parents who can no longer get along and a mother as damaged as I am.
Now, if only I can bring myself to tell my husband...
After my last post, I finally broke down and spoke with the hubby, again. Unfortunately, I didn't choose the best time. Instead of being up front with him, I just sort of decided to avoid getting pregnant, which resulted in him pushing himself onto me.
Now, I am a childhood victim of sexual abuse and have been diagnosed with PTSD for more than half of my life. Now, those flashbacks have returned but, instead of it being the result of my childhood abuse, it is now my husband that I see and fear. The place that I used to feel the safest has now become my worst nightmare.
Needless to say, our journey to TTC is over. I can't bring myself to allow my husband to touch me, let alone try to bear another child. It would be unfair to the child to have parents who can no longer get along and a mother as damaged as I am.
Now, if only I can bring myself to tell my husband...
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