I have been suffering recently. I have heard it said that my
emotions are being tested. Anyways, at the drop of a hat, I lose the control
that I once had and I start crying. My poor hubby is baffled. My problem, more
than anything else right now, is guilt. I feel like such a failure in every
area of my life, in way more areas than I am able/allowed to post about.
I feel like a failure a work because my
"checklist" is getting too long. I can't seem to keep up. For me,
being the perfectionist that I am, I am sure that I am making more out of this
than I should, but I worry. I am so thankful to have a job and I worry that my
recent inability to keep up and all the time that I feel like I miss for my
family will take that blessing away.
I can't keep up with my house. It has been well over a month
since we put all of our things in one house. But, I still haven't managed to
find a home for everything. My bedroom is a complete pig sty and it drives me
crazy!
But, apparently, if you wish you could be a better mom, you'гe
not alone. Mom guilt is practically an epidemic.
Sometimes guilt can be a warning signal that you need to
make a change in your life. Are you not spending enough time with your kids?
Are you too OCD (like me)? If you do see red flags, make resolutions to change,
no matter how small.
I have been suffering with my guilt off and on forever, but
most recently, I have been suffering with it for about two weeks. Last week, I
resolved to get one room a day clean all week. By Friday, when it was time to
clean my room, I slacked off, but I wouldn't do it differently. Instead, the
hubby and snuggled up to a movie. But, a lot of my guilt is gone because I made
some movement to cleaning my house. (I did a similar thing at work and knocked
out some much needed work.)
For gnawing working mom's guilt, take a day off just to
spend with your child. I did this Saturday. The hubby with away at his second
job and instead of stressing about cleaning, the girls and I snuggled up on the
couch with Halloween candy and a movie. Your child will relish the special time
with Mommy.
When you're feeling work vs. family conflict, it's easy to
idealize the life you would have as a stay-at-home mom. But it's not ideal.
Yes, I enjoyed being a stay at home mom. (I loved it, really.) I loved being
home with my girls, but I did not love having to be completely dependant on my
husband financially. Would I ever choose to do it again? In a heart beat, if we
could comfortably afford it. But the reality is that stay-at-home parents can
have as much stress as working parents, if not more.
Although mommy guilt is a sign that we'гe trying to do our
best, we need to learn to let it go so that we can be our best. A guilty
conscience can bring you down mentally, physically and spiritually, and can
affect every person in your family.
Sometimes we feel guilty because we have unrealistic
expectations of ourselves, or we'гe comparing ourselves to other people. Be who
you are. You will never be happy being someone else. We were all created
completely unique, so when we try to be something we'гe not, we'll always be
unhappy.
In what ways do you most struggle with "mom
guilt"?
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