Friday, January 6, 2012

Christian with Anger

Yes, that is me. I know...I know. That is not how it is supposed to be. If I am truly a Christian then I should be filled with the Spirit and beaming with the joy and love of Jesus.

So, what's my problem? If I could answer that, I would be in this situation. However, the closest that I can come to an answer is that I am either too stubborn or too comfortable with the familiar to change. Or, it's a combination of both (more likely).

I can go days without being angry at the world in general. There are days where I can feel love beaming from my chest and I am really proud of myself. Then, there are days when I could just tear the head off of anyone who crosses my path. Lately, I am very proud of myself. A lot of my anger is now being successfully restrained from my children. (Mind you, I was never an abusive person, but I was definitely not satisfied with anything.) Unfortunately for my husband, this anger is restrained from my kids, but that means that he bears more of it himself, and that's not fair.

Mind you, this has been something difficult for me to admit. To admit that I have anger is to admit that I am not filled with joy. Yes, I am a fallible human being. I am a survivor of a lot of crud and I am still trying to figure out how to deal with it. But, I am tired of giving anger so much power over me. So yes, I am a Christian with anger.

No comments:

Post a Comment