There are times when I can stifle my anger and appear happy. I can even convince myself that I am happy. Maybe I am happy, but it is way too easy for that anger to resurface. Recently, I got my hopes up on something, then I had to interact with people I really don’t even like anymore, and I suffered a lot of pain over the weekend. Yeah, my anger returned with a vengeance.
I have been completely unreasonable for about a week now. For no reasonable reason, I give my husband a hard time. I am not talking about my normal picking with him. I am talking all out ATTITUDE and, I fear, a lot of disrespect. Just the other day, I broke out in a yelling, screaming, crying fit. About halfway through, I realized I was unreasonable and not in my right frame of mind, but I also had no clue how to stop it. (Probably a little bit of pride poking through there.)
I came across Courtney’s Gentleness Challenge. Now, she has directed this towards children, but I intend to include my husband in on this too. It is too easy to treat the people that we love the most with, shall we say, less than gentleness.
Matthew Henry says “What is spoken wisely should be spoken calmly, and then it will be calmly considered. But passion will lessen the force even of reason, instead of adding any force to it.”
Expressing my anger may make me feel better momentarily, but what kind of damage does it do in the long run? It forces my loved ones to emotionally protect themselves. This is done by tuning out what I am actually saying, or by convincing themselves that my opinion doesn’t matter or, God forbid, I don’t love them anyway.
When we walk in the Spirit – we will be gentle mothers. But when we walk in the flesh – we lack all of these attributes.