How do I Create Faith That Lasts?

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I keep running across articles talking about how to create faith that lasts in your children. My problem... I have a hard time with my own faith. Granted, I haven't turned my back on God since I was a struggling teenager, but still...I can't seem to follow and fully trust God and his plan for my life.

Day to day I struggle. I struggle in everything. Some days I struggle to get up. I struggle as a parent. I struggle as a wife. I struggle as an employee. I struggle with finances. I struggle with sleeping. I struggle with everything. I struggle to pray. I struggle to attend church. I definitely struggle teaching Sunday School. I struggle with friendships. I struggle with acquaintances. It may sound impossible, but I struggle with e v e r y t h i n g.

I don't understand why everything has to be such a struggle, but it is. There are times where I just put my nose to the grindstone and I tune out the struggle (even though that is typically when I am struggling the most), but the struggle never ends.

When I was young, I wanted to be a mother, but I also knew that this world is a horrible place for people. I had all but decided not to have any kids because of what a horrible place it is. But, I hoped. When I found out I was pregnant, I hoped that I could protect my kid from the horrors that I grew up with and maybe she would have a happy life. I was wrong and it's breaking my heart.

So, how can I try to instill in her a faith in Christ that lasts when I struggle myself? I struggle constantly. I struggle with my lot in life. I struggle with submitting ( I can't do it). I struggle with praying. I struggle to hear God (and I have never been able to).

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I read books. I read Christian books. I attend church on a regular basis. I go to a Sunday School class and I keep up with the prayer requests and the snack list, but I am not really plugged in. I have been trying for three years now to read my bible. I tried going to a bible study class, but with all the women in there, I was an outsider and eventually gave up on that. I don't know where else to turn. I don't know what to do...

*Sorry, this post has no answer.