Will this storm never pass?
Still dealing with my oldest daughter's cry for help last week. After speaking with her counselor twice, we are sure it was a cry for help and not an actual plan, but...it's still heartbreaking. It's heartbreaking to think that my 10 year old is hurting so much that she felt she had to cry for help the way that she did.
Yesterday, was our second visit to her counselor and I admittedly lost it. I have gone through a whirlwind of emotions over this situation. I have felt anger, pain, denial, guilt, and any combination of the four. Now, my oldest is ADHD. We tried non-stimulants, but there were too many side effects and the pediatrician agreed with me when I decided not to try stimulants. Her ADHD is mild and she does pretty well with controlling it mostly on her own. I tried the medication only for social reasons as my oldest has never had friends (other kids don't know how to take her). Instead, her grades went down and she still had no friends.
Then, the pediatrician thought she might have an underlying reading or auditory comprehension problem, but I couldn't get her in to be tested. It wasn't because of insurance, it wasn't because I couldn't afford it, it's because Brenners Children's Hospital wouldn't return my phone calls. Can you believe it? As time went on, my hubby and I became fairly sure that she didn't have either of those problems.
Now, her psychologist is trying to convince me to put her on a stimulant to see if it would work. She makes a valid argument in that we would know within a few days if they would work or not but...do I want to expose my already emotionally unstable 10 year old to that roller coaster? No! I do not. So, why am I the bad guy? (Which is what I feel everyone thinks.)
I went ahead and called my oldest's pediatrician and she agreed with me, yet again (and I should point out that this is not even a paid appointment, just a phone call). She said that with her emotional instability and the sensitivity that she has already shown to medication, there is only one that she would even resort to trying, but basically only after having my oldest evaluated by a psychiatrist. The pediatrician really suspects that there is something else going on and is even sending me to a developmental pediatrician to have my oldest evaluated there as well. So, it may take some months, but ... we will get to the bottom of this.
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Yesterday, was our second visit to her counselor and I admittedly lost it. I have gone through a whirlwind of emotions over this situation. I have felt anger, pain, denial, guilt, and any combination of the four. Now, my oldest is ADHD. We tried non-stimulants, but there were too many side effects and the pediatrician agreed with me when I decided not to try stimulants. Her ADHD is mild and she does pretty well with controlling it mostly on her own. I tried the medication only for social reasons as my oldest has never had friends (other kids don't know how to take her). Instead, her grades went down and she still had no friends.
Then, the pediatrician thought she might have an underlying reading or auditory comprehension problem, but I couldn't get her in to be tested. It wasn't because of insurance, it wasn't because I couldn't afford it, it's because Brenners Children's Hospital wouldn't return my phone calls. Can you believe it? As time went on, my hubby and I became fairly sure that she didn't have either of those problems.
Now, her psychologist is trying to convince me to put her on a stimulant to see if it would work. She makes a valid argument in that we would know within a few days if they would work or not but...do I want to expose my already emotionally unstable 10 year old to that roller coaster? No! I do not. So, why am I the bad guy? (Which is what I feel everyone thinks.)
I went ahead and called my oldest's pediatrician and she agreed with me, yet again (and I should point out that this is not even a paid appointment, just a phone call). She said that with her emotional instability and the sensitivity that she has already shown to medication, there is only one that she would even resort to trying, but basically only after having my oldest evaluated by a psychiatrist. The pediatrician really suspects that there is something else going on and is even sending me to a developmental pediatrician to have my oldest evaluated there as well. So, it may take some months, but ... we will get to the bottom of this.
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