Sunday, March 4, 2012

Sorry I've Been So Quiet Lately

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I have been meaning to post a follow up on my insecurity journey for a while now.

Unfortunately, that was back when I felt like I was doing well. I did well for a few days. I actually spoke up for what I wanted without feeling guilty about it. And, amazingly, I got what I wanted.

 But, I am just a swinging pendulum. (That seems to be my life story.) Now, I feel terrible again.

Admittedly, I don't feel as bad as I did before. I still feel more empowered and I seem to recognize what I am doing, but I don't seem to be able to stop myself.

I nit pick all that goes on around me. I don't expect anyone to like me. I went to Sunday School today and managed not to talk to a single person. I find myself getting jealous of one of my daughters and I can't seem to stop.

Today, I even caught myself getting jealous of a friend of mine's baby shower. Not because she is pregnant, but because she has lots of friends and family around for support. I don't. Is that petty or what?

I think a big part of this slip is caused my continued battle with my weight (I gained the 3 lbs back that I had lost last week.)

I think it's time to get on my knees, ask for strength, and stick my nose to the grindstone.

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