Wow, I had a very busy and exhausting weekend, but I also had something happen to me.
All day Sunday, I was in pain.....not physical pain.....emotional pain. I suffered greatly and cried off and on almost all day. At the time, I had no idea what was going on with me. The least little thing, even a bad thought, would get me to crying. I felt like there was a black hole in my chest and I was being consumed by it.
Now, I posted before about my husband's recent contact with his long lost sister. Let me make myself perfectly clear. I am SOOOO excited for him and happy for him. I am excited myself and bragged about my new sister-in-law and niece and nephew to everyone that I came in contact with for days after.
To compound things, my oldest has a father she has never met and two brothers and a sister she has never met. So, while I know my pain, I am so fearful of the pain that she will experience as time goes on.
Then, there are certain members of my hubby's family (members who I love) who have no interest in meeting this long lost family member and that breaks my heart for her. I have been that sister who has been told "I don't want to have contact with you." I have felt that rejection. This also confuses my feelings for these people. I love them, but I can't believe that someone I love could be so cold hearted.
I am not sure why God has chosen now to rip the band aids from these particular wounds, but all I can do is cling to him (and my hubby) for support. And let me tell you, my hubby has been a great source of support!