Wow, I had a very
busy and exhausting weekend, but I also had something happen to
me.
All day Sunday, I
was in pain.....not physical pain.....emotional pain. I suffered greatly and
cried off and on almost all day. At the time, I had no idea what was going on
with me. The least little thing, even a bad thought, would get me to crying. I
felt like there was a black hole in my chest and I was being consumed by
it.
Now, I posted before about my husband's recent contact with his long lost sister. Let me make myself perfectly clear. I am SOOOO excited for him and happy for him. I am excited myself and bragged about my new sister-in-law and niece and nephew to everyone that I came in contact with for days after.
Source |
To compound things,
my oldest has a father she has never met and two brothers and a sister she has
never met. So, while I know my pain, I am so fearful of the pain that she will
experience as time goes on.
Then, there are
certain members of my hubby's family (members who I love) who have no interest
in meeting this long lost family member and that breaks my heart for her. I have
been that sister who has been told "I don't want to have contact with you." I
have felt that rejection. This also confuses my feelings for these people. I
love them, but I can't believe that someone I love could be so cold
hearted.
I am not sure why
God has chosen now to rip the band aids from these particular wounds, but all I
can do is cling to him (and my hubby) for support. And let me tell you, my hubby
has been a great source of support!
I know this is way past posting date, but I hope things are feeling somewhat better now. Prayers...
ReplyDeleteMeredith, things have been crazy busy with work, family, extra ciricular activities, and a new addition to our family, so I haven't been able to post. I am still in a lot of pain, but I am more hopeful.
DeleteThanks for checking in on me!